The Terrifying Choice

I have tried to keep my opinion of the current Presidential campaign, as well as my political leanings, more or less off of this blog. For many reasons really, but mostly because there are so many people out there who share my opinions but can express them much more clearly and gracefully than myself. But I feel compelled, for whatever reason, to share my thoughts on John McCains VP pick.

The initial thought that went through my mind, "You have got to be kidding me," persists. The more I read about Sarah Palin the more I am turned off. She is a mother which is a beautiful and wonderful thing. But is accepting a nomination for one of the most stressful and time consuming jobs responsible when you have a four month old down syndrome baby? She protested polar bears placed on the endangered species list, worrying it would prevent oil drilling in some parts of Alaska.  She disagrees that humans are a big cause of global warming, she believes only creationism should be taught in schools and she is staunchly anti-choice, even in the case of incest or rape.  If you are not picking up what I am putting down, she doesn't represent me....in the slightest.

It is not these points that terrify me the most. It is the judgement of John McCain. He only met Sarah Palin once, at a meeting, then spoke with her a second time when he offered her the VP position.  He has never worked with her, he has barely had time to learn her name.  I see what he is doing, I get his line of thinking. Fighting one historical nomination with another adds a sense of drama and excitement. It gets peoples attention and reaffirms the American Dream. But choosing someone simply because they are a woman? It reeks of affirmative action and nothing more.  Is there not one other Republican woman who is more qualified?  Hell, take Conde.  She has at least worked in the national government.  As a woman I am offended by this choice and it reaffirms my concern over John McCains judgement. In having to make his first big executive decision he responds in a rather thoughtless and dangerous way.  He is incapable of thinking critically about the things that matter most.  I do not trust the man.  And now, should our great country choose him, and he became unable to do the job, we get Sarah Palin.

I will be watching the debates, maybe she will prove herself under pressure.  Or maybe she will get eaten by Joe Biden.  Either way, if you didn't guess it before, you probably know now which camp I am for.  I truly hope for the best.  I know that a turnaround in America won't happen overnight and I don't believe any candidate would be a magic fix it pill,  but I don't change to be delayed for another 4-8 years.  I believe both our window is small and our country and the world just can't afford to wait.   

Did I give you any new insight or convince you on one point or another?  Probably not.  But I feel a little better after a good rant so thank you for reading.



this is the stuff weekends are made of

And it's finally upon us........

Bad planning on my part means that two exciting events are fighting for the spotlight this afternoon. So earlier today (at a time that may be considered yesterday by most my readers) I posted the next Weekend Exposure question. Please do go check that out, I can't wait to see what you all have.

But now is the moment I have been anticipating all week, what a thrill. In the end there were just seven entries for this little drawing so your odds were not so bad. Without further ado.............


...the lit chick from Oregon. Hello there Sarah!  Congratulations, you are the new owner of set of custom coasters (hehe, I just like how that sounds). Let's chat soon about what colors/style you want as well as where I can send them when I am all finished.   I don't think I have your email so just send one to me here.

Thank you all for entering and keep your eyes peeled because at some random point in the future I plan on having another drawing. Inspired by a few of my current projects and the current weather? Most likely. 

I am hoping you all have a beautiful weekend.

WE: What is your most indulgent texture?


, originally uploaded by * Honest *.



To find out how to participate go here.

Switch flipped

I feel completely excited about the little creative joy ride I have been on over the last few days.  My brain is flooded with imagery and ideas, I sometimes fear I will burst from my inability to contain it all.  Thank you to everyone who has entered the contest so far.  I love the idea for many reasons.  One, I get to see who's been reading but haven't revealed themselves in the past (hi, April and family!).  I also get the opportunity to create something.  While I enjoy creating things for myself, I really enjoy sharing it with other people.  Besides, consider it a little consolation prize for those of you that have stuck through me whining about not having any friends here ;).  I am quite excited about doing more giveaways in the future.  I over joys me to the brink of blasting off.

The Weekend Exposure Project, however, has to the highlight of my life in this moment.  I have struggled with the idea of what my community looks like.  Wanting so badly to connect but feeling unable to.  The blog form is so one sided, I report, you read.  So the interaction within the WE Project is what thrills me.  To reach out and use my site as the home base for a larger community.  I love that the two people who both, directly and indirectly, inspired it were the first two to jump on board.   Thanks Karen (an old friend) and Natalie (who I just "met" on friday)!

I have had some interesting learnings come up from the project as well,  all centered around control and letting go.  Firstly, my little control persona, who I like to call Queen Bee, is not so forgiving of rule breaking.  Specifically when it's her rules you break there may be repercussions later.  Secondly, I have had a good chuckle at peoples (including mine) ability to let go of words.  It is difficult to let go and let an image, just one random image, stand in to represent something that seems so complex.  So, I feel excited to let go, let people have their own experience and see how this project takes shape.  

Thank you all for joining me on my journey!  

Something must be done about this constant feeling of cold



Today I managed to start and finish my first second ever complicated crochet project. Complicated in that in is not a square or rectangular object in which the same stitch is repeated row after row. My mom gave me a crochet primer just one week before leaving for Germany so I am quite proud of my accomplishment. I will probably be making more of these hand warmers, these ones are made from a pattern purchased here. There are elements I like but the fit is not prime so I will be messing around to make the PERFECT little glovelettes. Not that I need multiple pairs, but it's just too fun not to make more. More colors, more buttons, more ruffles. And all the possible variations. I am having a fun time indeed geeking out and getting creative.


A Song for You: Electric Feel


MGMT Homepage
MGMT MySpace

Maths

Today I chose to work with a seven year old student on some simple math. Addition and subtraction to work his brain a little and think of the english numbers. I had been giving him the equations when he decided to take over and create one. And this happened:

Fourhundred forty times four divided by five minus seven equals threehundred fortyfive.

In his head faster than I could do the equation on paper and in perfect english.

Seven years old.

I think I gotta step it up a little.

Expose Yourself

Introducing....Weekend Exposure!

I felt inspired after stumbling upon this project here where there are twelve questions to be answered by typing in the answer in Flickr's search field, then posting a photo mosaic of all the answers. Super fun visually but I decided I wanted to make it an ongoing community project.  Each friday I will post a new question under the heading "WE"; sometimes simple, other times not.  But always something that unmasks a part of who we are or what makes us tick.  It's an exciting way to interact weekly with you, dear readers, and to potentially create a larger community and I love that it is non-verbal (a challenge for some, I know).  Since this is the first week we'll keep it on a lovely topic that doesn't burrow too deeply but is still revealing in many ways.

What is your favorite book?

photo by w;t (via flickr)


Want to play too?  There are two ways you can do so:
  • Comment on the current WE post on B Chronicles leaving a link to the Flickr photo page of your answer.
  • Post the photo on your blog (tag with "WE" or "Weekend Exposure").  Please link to the Flickr photo page and B Chronicles.  Leave a comment for me if you choose to participate, I would love to visit your blog and see what your results are.
Rules:
  1. Check here each Friday for the new topic/question.
  2. Type your answer into Flickr's search engine.  Choose a photo from the first page of results.
  3. Post your results.
  4. Let the imagery speak for itself.  Don't tell us the answer, give commentary or explanations.  


worth a stab


My little heart is in love with wool and all the possible loveliness it can be transformed into.  So today I finally sat down and tried my hand at needle felting. This is a process of making felt in which you take wool roving and stab it again and again with a barbed needle. Sounds like a fun way to take out some frustration, right?   My first project was this simple coaster in the photo above.  

So now I want to make more....but have no need for coasters. I sure hope you do though because I am having a drawing.  You know, where you enter your name to WIN SOMETHING.  And in this case that something is a set of four coasters designed, felted, and lovingly shipped off by yours truly.  I feel so excited I am quivering and warm all over.  I love creating for people so this is an indulgence for me every bit as much as a gift for you.


Logistics?  Leaving a comment on this post is your entry.  On friday, August 29, I will draw a name and announce the winner on this here blog.  Let's just say at 12:00 p.m. MST for fun.  Then I will have a chat with the winner about what colors they like and where to send the darn things.  Oh lovely giveaway.  I hope this is the beginning of a beautiful tradition.


Because I love you more than zombies love brains

I spend a great deal of my time drawing with M, the little horse, as it is her favorite activity. Actually, creating in any form is what she loves and that suits me just fine. But drawing seems to be what we do the most and I haven't done it since I was fourteen. I am enjoying myself and like coming up with silly ideas. This is one of many I brought home yesterday:
I kept referring to it as Ryan and I were both studying and talking about life in general. By the end of the night when I said, "but you know what is most important?" Ryan replied, "I am not turning around.....I know what's going to happen." I offered to laminate the "art" so it could be used as a book mark and a daily reminder. Sadly, the offer was rejected upon claims that it just wasn't quite his style. It may be an altogether different situation, however, if the rainbow were an arm of a zombie reaching in for brains......

Well, I tried my best. Here you are Ryan, your very own zombie affirmation bookmark.



Holler!

It seems that I have a hater out there.  After making an innocent comment on this site a response from Pendel Haight was this:
I hope you will take some goddamn time to REFLECT upon this shit then, and do something to CHANGE yourself for the better, you poser asshole.
After which Mr. Haight hopped on over to this site and gave this sound advice:
What I am saying to you, you strange little hotty hippie, is get the fuck out of your comfort zone a try some music that pushes a goddamned BUTTON somewhere and makes things HAPPEN.
and this:
Do the Krauts find you tiresome? Do you hate the food? I think you might be having a bit of a problem getting laid over there. 
Wow.  My initial reaction?  Laughter.  This amuses me to no end.  But I also ask, "what the hell brought this on?"  I keep talking about feeling stuck and unsure.  As a strange little hotty hippie I choose to use this as a lesson.  Clearly there is something in my life I am not focusing on and you have now shown up to snap me back into reality.  What a sweet gift.  So, however unprovoked and negative the comments are, I thank you, dear Pendel.  

Lastly, and this may be entirely too obvious, I don't think my blog is a match for you (!).  Although there will be less for you to complain about I believe it will be best if you don't return.


Bob for Barack?


Each morning I arrive to work and am greeted by a smiling two year old ready to laugh and play. Of course, I am not there for him but to teach his older siblings. In his yearning to keep me around he belts out the only English he knows, "Can we fix it? YES WE CAN!"

Does Barack have a supporter we didn't know about or it this the source of his campaign slogan?

Song(s) for You: Adem and Paolo Angeli


Two cover albums by two very different artists. Both beautiful and both very worthy to listen to over and over again. They both happen to cover this Björk track so I thought it would be nice to feature them. Please check both these artists out. I am generally not a fan of cover albums but I think both of these are solid and stand on their own beautifully.

Adem's music is folk(ish) and fabulous. His newest album, Takes, are covers of some of his influences ranging from 1991-2001. Some artists featured are the Smashing Pumpkins and Yo La Tengo and one of my favorite tracks is a beautiful acoustic version of To Cure A Weakling Child by Aphex Twin. Truly fantastic.



Paolo Angeli plays a prepared guitar meaning he has made some adjustments to his acoustic guitar and often plays it with a bow. His latest album is a wonderful collection of covers of Björk and Frith. The sounds that can be made from this one instrument are surprising and beautiful.

Just to be clear


I talked with my mom yesterday (hi mom) and she said to me that she feels like, when reading my blog then talking with me, there are two people in Germany having two different experiences. In my blog I am reporting what a fabulous and wonderful journey this is, and I then relay all the "dark" stuff in our phone calls. I will say that I am selective at times at what I will and will not include in my blog as I don't know how broad or narrow my audience is. But first and foremost I keep this site to let all the people I love know what's up in my world. Therefore I don't want to hide or only share parts of myself and my experience. My relationships are based in truth and revealing and I want that to be reflected in what I write here. Not only the "good parts" version, but the honest version.

So let's start with this. Each person I encounter and experience I have here is cherished. Every day I learn more than I could imagine. Not only about Germany and the people here, but about myself. About what I am capable of and what I want. I wander in wonder and try to remain open to all that is presented to me.

There is also this.....my time here so far has been difficult and scary and sometimes I find myself thinking that I just want to go home. I fear many things, among them being that I will be unable to create a community, to do work that I really enjoy, to travel and visit, and to learn all that I want to. I also fear that coming here is only stalling whatever my future holds.

The worry, the fear, the doubt...it all stems from the past. I recognize and appreciate it for what it is. I hold it dear and realize that it is there to teach me. Having the knowledge that I get to choose my life is empowering. What I do here and what I experience is up to me. Yes, I feel afraid. Yes, I have been dwelling often in that fear. I have also chosen to rise up and face that fear. I believe and will continue to declare that this may be the best choice I could have made for myself and the timing for this change is perfect for me. I am on the brink of change, of transformation. Is it not said that it is always darkest before the dawn.

My intention is to follow what my body and heart is telling me. I commit to be open and truthful about my experiences. Sometimes exciting, sometimes frightening, but always revealing. Thank you for joining me on this journey.

Sir Nils Olav

...entire trust and confidence in you, as a penguin, in every way qualified to receive the honour and dignity of knighthood.

You can't make this stuff up. Go to the BBC to see what I am talking about.

and then?

I just hopped on over to my friend Angie's blog where she asked, "Now what?" and this is the exact question that has been swimming through my mind lately, distracting me from being present. Rather, it is more likely that I am not present because I am not seriously considering the question. And without some sort of answer I am unable to move forward. This move was something I have considered since I was twenty. Last September (nearly a year ago!) I sat with Justin and declared my commitment to make the move. Six months later I hopped on the plane and it is now mid August and I often find myself asking "now what?".    All this build up and no plan. What am I doing here again?

In no way do I think this move was in vain. Quite opposite, it may be one of the best decisions of my life. Not because there are great career choices or mega money to be made, but I feel like, if I am open to them, some of my biggest lessons will be learned here. But my mind is constantly buzzing with questions and worry. Some of my current internal dialogue:
  • Am I wasting my time?
  • I don't think I can find friends that I really like.
  • When I get back to Salt Lake I am going to......
  • I don't want to just work.
  • When am I going to feel like I am home?
  • It would be wonderful if I could just talk to __________ right now.
  • When's the next dance night at the W?
Much of the internal talk is futurized and I realize how unproductive that is. And all of it is based in fear. But I know from experience that fear is one of my biggest teachers so with this much fear I can only assume I will be learning the Biggest lessons.  The true question is, "What do I want in this moment?"  In this moment I commit to shift from living in tomorrow and asking what I want today.  I am here and I get to make this look however I want it too.  I feel excited that I am given a clean slate here, to create what I want and I feel tentative about the amount of fear that will continue to arise in that process.

Today I stepped away from the computer, where I can remain attached to home through emails, blogs and facebook, and took myself to a quiet spot along the water.  Watching barges, bikers and joggers, and enjoying the quiet moments between each.  It was a small gesture but it was the way that I was able to connect with the present and to land again within myself.  Once laying in the sun it didn't take long for my body to fall into a restful sleep.  What a wonderful reminder that, when I am mindful, my body will let me know what it needs and I will be more open to know what my soul needs.  It seems that the answer to "now what" is, for me, NOW.

Song for You: Roisin Murphy


This is Roisin Murphy's second solo release after many successful albums under Moloko. I just can't help but love her.

because it's just so overwhelmingly exciting....

I will post for the third time today.  The one sport I would really love to watch is women's gymnastics this year, but the time difference and lack of television just won't allow it.  One reason to celebrate already:  This U of U gymnast is competing on the German National Team in Beijing.  How cool is that?!?!  I am so excited!

Red Love in the Country....


To relay simply what happened this weekend is just not sufficient. Here is a moment where I find myself wishing I had the ability to write in a way that transported you into the experiences I just had. But alas, I am not so talented. So I will say this....
This weekend was nothing if not absolufantamormagical. After work on friday Ryan and I escaped by train to a small village about 45 minutes outside of Münster to attend the party of a friend's parents. Upon arriving at the train station we were greeted by two friends clad head to toe in red; Jessica with some saucy red ankle boots and Mitja in a horizontal striped number we later learned were a pair of Oma's (his grandmothers) old PJ's.The party was at Mitja's parents home and, while I understood we were going into the country, and that he was raised in a small village, I in no way expected what I saw. We pulled in down a drive and into a courtyard. On one side was a barn were the festivities were being held, at the head was the huge home, or country manor, rather, that was built in 1840, and on the third side was another much larger barn attached to a 700+ year old tower. Mitja, apparently, is farm royalty or so he was deemed Prince Busch for the remainder of the weekend.

As party's go this one ranked right up there with the best I have attended. Each of the 120 or so guests brought food to share, there was beer flowing all night (the kegs ran out around 3 am then they broke out the bottles), there were glorious costumes, terrible music choices (which makes those Germans somehow endearing), and we were partying in a BARN. I think I lasted until 3:30 but I know I heard people sneaking in around 6:30-7 a.m.

We ended up staying, and being warmly welcomed, for the remainder of the weekend. We spent the time exploring the buildings on the grounds, watching the animals, playing games of ping pong and ultimate frisbee, walking in the countryside, sleeping, and eating Oma's fantastic strawberry jam. The hospitality of Mitja's family stretched well beyond measure as they kindly hosted not just Ryan and I but the Canadians and a slew of other friends from Hamburg. They sat around with us and told stories and kindly invited us to return for a visit.
I appreciated the weekend for many reasons. Mostly, I have noticed my tendency to slide again into the daily grind, worrying only about the job and what must be done, often at the expense of what I really need. What a wonderful opportunity, then, to have no option but to stop and listen. To observe and be unconcerned with what will happen in the next hour. To fully enjoy each moment. And each moment in the weekend was well beyond full.

Want to see photos of the grounds and inside a few of the buildings? Just go here for more.

the important things....


Some days the job is just too easy. This was the visual I used to teach a little germ about the little things in life that make it all so wonderful...and yes, not Conor, Sean, Kieran, or Ian. Oh no, Trevor. And why you ask, dear reader. Because after weaving my fantastical story that's as close to Ireland as I could get. Sheesh. But just take a look at those trousers. Nearly flashy enough to do Sir Flately proud.

A Song for You: Birthday


After a fantastic weekend in the country (more on that later) I am bringing it down a little. Enjoy this little ditty by The Everybodyfields then go check out the album.

What am I Saying?