We partied like it was 1999

{Senior Prom...that would be me in the purple dress I LOVED}

Saturday was my ten year high school reunion which I sadly missed on account of the thousands of miles between where I live and where I graduated.  I felt bummed about it. That's right, I said bummed.  Though my high school experience wasn't perfect, it was far from the horror stories that are often told.  I detached myself from all things High School, however, right after graduation and have felt rather nostalgic in the last few years to reconnect with old friends.  Facebook has been a saving grace for that, but a reunion?  So much better.  I have posted a few of the pictures I actually have from those teen years.  If you're interested go ahead and continue reading. Click on any photo for a larger view.

{With two of my closest friends in 10th Grade, before a parade with my brothers Pipe Band}

{New Years with Eve, of my London trip fame, and my favorite boys}

{One of the few evenings where my friends and I did typical teenage girl things... doing teen magazine quizzes}

{Anyone remember what those nose strips were called that I am so proudly modeling?}

{Our dance company being rather controversial for the yearbook.  We were forced to retake a photo clothed, but regarded ourselves as quite badass from that day forward}

{Pretending to be pregnant to prevent a friend from going away. It didn't work}

{Eve and I liked making cakes. Dance cakes. Math cakes. Carnivorous worm cakes}

{My friend Tom with some of the first Germans I ever met}

WE: What will be your legacy?

My answer...

please play.jpg, originally uploaded by nyniknaz.

The Weekend Exposure Project is a weekly community event, sharing thoughts through imagery. Read about the Weekend Exposure Project and play along.

A Song for You: Butterfly Nets

Life changing music? Certainly not. But this album is lovely and varied and I can't stop listening to it at the moment. Find the song in the sidebar. ----->
Bishop Allen {Website}
{Video} for "Click, Click, Click"

Happy New Year!

At least, that is what it feels like to me.  The happy face means a visa has been renewed, an adventure lengthened. I went into the foreign office on Friday thinking I had everything I needed only to find out, after waiting around for two hours, that I needed income verification for the previous three months. I cried a little. That's right. For whatever reason the renewal process, though painless in reality, stressed me out.  I was very much looking forward to just being done with it already, so whenI found out I had to wait until Monday to continue I just sort of lost it. Well, I waited until I got home, then I lost it.  I then spent a good deal of the weekend filling my time with some sort of activity to take my mind off the nervousness I was feeling.  I couldn't sleep.  By the time Monday rolled around I was exhausted.

Waiting in the morning to talk with the officer my legs were visibly shaking.  Luckily, I had brought along some crochet to help distract me and ease my mind.  A few hours and just 30 Euro later I walked out with a new visa.  Phew!  They were super friendly and helpful, extending my time until September 2010.  I don't plan on being here until then, but I love that I have that option.


I feel very relieved to have it all done and over with. It acts as a marker, a very obvious marker of the time that has passed. It has been only in the last two months that I have really realized that, hello, I live in Europe. The last year has been fabulous, but I don't believe I have taken advantage of my position to the fullest. With a new visa I feel like I am being extended the opportunity to do this thing "right". Rather, the way I really want too (though the idea makes me terrified). So, why wait for January to roll around? Here are a few of resolutions:

• Putting myself out there and making an effort to make friends.
• DANCE.
  
• Learning some traditional German cooking and baking.
  
• Getting outdoors and exploring the area even more.
  
• Continue improving my language skills.

Those are some general goals. Some more specific goals:

• Go to a Bundesliga Football game
  
• Spend a weekend in Amsterdam
• Give "Radler" a chance someday (beer+Sprite)

And, I want to thank you all, dear family and friends, for supporting me on my journey.  This was a hard decision for me to make and even harder to execute.  Huge lessons are being learned. I wouldn't be here, though, without the HUGE LOVE from all of you. Thank you. 

Apfel-Gurken Salat

Mint Cucumber Apple Salad, originally uploaded by Delairen.

I have been a very bad friend to my health lately so I decided to treat my body to something healthy, refreshing and delicious this afternoon.  Using the little food I had around I created this yummy salad.  Overall I am pleased with the results, but I will experiment in the future with a different vinegar or other things to throw in.

• 1 Cucumber very thinly sliced
  
• 2 Granny Smith apples, peeled and chopped
  
• Some small mild onion, finely chopped
  
• Oil, Balsamic Vinegar, and Honey (experiment with the amounts)

Mix it up and let all the flavors meld together for a few hours. I am thinking walnuts would be a great last minute addition.  Maybe I will have a few other suggestions after it has sat for a day.  Certainly throw in your thoughts if you have any.  I do love a good salad.  Enjoy.

WE: What are you sitting on?

bricks, originally uploaded by erica marie..

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Expiring...

I pretty much can't believe this, but the time has come to renew my visa or get kicked back across the Atlantic. The time has passed both quickly and slowly. I feel like after fifteen months (!) I am starting to get the hang of this and am not quite ready to pack up and go. So I have an appointment in the morning at the Foreign Office to get a new visa. All the necessary documents I need are signed, stamped, and ready to go.   I have renewed my health insurance.  I have the cash for the renewal feel.  And I feel terrified that they won't let me stay.  Silly, I know.  I had the same feeling last year with my first visa and I think I was through in thirty minutes.  

I would love something from you though.  Any happy/goodluck thoughts, well wishes, crossed fingers, toes, and other limbs all in the hopes that I can stay here would be greatly appreciated in the next 24 hours.  And for those friends and family that keep asking me, "will you just come home already?" you can keep on saying and thinking that..... after Friday afternoon arrives.  Until then, please send only good European ju-ju this way.  I promise, if I am allowed to stay I will come home in the next six months to visit.  And there is always space for you at my place if you miss me all that much.  :)

Lila

If I were to ever get a tattoo it would be of the word, Lila. 

There is an old Sanskrit word, lila, which means play. Richer than our word, it means divine play, the play of creation, destruction, and re-creation, the folding and the unfolding of the cosmos. Lila, free and deep, is both the delight and enjoyment of this moment, and the play of God. It also means love. Lila may be the simplest thing there is- spontaneous, childish, disarming.

The above quote comes from the book Free Play by Stephen Nachmanovitch. It's a word I keep in mind for those times I feel stuck and I have now put it above my light switch as a daily reminder of how I wish to approach my life.

Free Play, subtitled "Improvisation in Life and Art", is one of my all time favorite books to revisit.  I originally had to read it for a college course while studying dance and sort of dreaded the whole thing.  I was living a creatively nearly every moment and wasn't open to it's true message:  that we get stuck.  That there are some parts of life that seem utterly devoid of the possibility of creativity.  A few years later, after leaving the dance program, I was much more available to absorb what the author was saying.  It's a book on creativity not just for "artistic types", but talks about unleashing creativity into our everyday routine.  Where we find inspiration and how to tap in to it.  It's a simple book, yet I learn something new each time I open it.  If you want a comprehensive book on creativity then GO BUY THIS NOW or maybe check your mailbox because I just shipped off a few copies to some unsuspecting souls.  :)

Rasterbation

Remember me talking about a time consuming art project I hoped to have finished by this weekend? Well, this isn't it. I planned on some grand hand drawn poster, but laziness got the better of me when I happened upon this awesome website and a little program called the Rasterbator. I know, sounds sketchy, but I promise, it is completely safe.  


Upload any photo and turn it into a pixelated image. Print it out on multiple sheets of paper then put the puzzle together. It's super easy and a cheap way to make an impact. 


I played around with a lot of shots and ended up with this one for starters, mostly because it took the least amount of paper.  I have two images I am debating about for the wall where my bed sits, both of them from Salt Lake to bring a little hometown lovin' to Europe. If I am ambitious I may have something to show off next weekend too.

A Song for You: Alles Neu

I posted the video for this song some time ago. My roommate loves this song. I really like the strings and percussion, but never made a point of concentrating on the lyrics. My German is much better now though and I hear it now and appreciate the message.  Well, the idea of taking control of a situation if you don't like it and changing it for the better.  A few of his methods are questionable.  So have a listen in the sidebar and, if you like, have a glance at my sloppy translation after the jump.  I didn't bother trying to make it sound cool and rhyme, so you will just have to deal with it.

Alles Neu ~ Everything New

Peter Fox

I burn down my Studio and snort the ashes like coke.

I slay my goldfish and bury him out back.

I blast my hangout and leave everything behind.

My old life tastes like burnt toast.

I fry myself a steak, Peter cooks the finest meat.

I am updated, Peter Fox 1.1

I want to shake it, party, but this pond is too small

I grow a new set of choppers like the great white shark

Grown, doped, polished, brand new teeth

I am euphoric and have expensive plans

I'll by myself construction machines, dredgers, rollers and cranes

I'll jump to Berlin and sound the sirens.

I build nice loud speakers, the bass massages your soul

I'm the wrecking ball for the German scene.

Hey, everything shines, so beautifully new.

Hey, when you don't like something, make it new

The world is covered with dust, but I want to see where I am going

Climb the mountain of dirt, because up top the wind blows fresher.

Hey, everything shines, so beautifully new.

I'm fed up with my old things and leave them to rot in a bag

I mothball them then go shopping naked

I am completely renovated, chicks have something to stare at

I'm healthy, buff, and the world champion in Boxing and Chess

Speak directly, give a yes or a no

Stop with the nonsense, I let it all go

If I ever get high again, I'll cut my leg off with an axe

I don't want to lie anymore, I want to mean everything that is said.

I'm clearing my head, I must change everything

I'm searching for the button, meeting powerful men

Jive happiness on the country, buy banks and broadcast stations.

Everybody runs crazy, trembling sheep and lambs.

I look better than Bono and am a man of the people.

Ready to rescue the world, though that might be flying a bit high.

Hey, everything shines, so beautifully new.

Hey, when you don't like something, make it new.

Here the air is consumed, which I have difficulty breathing. 

Bye Bye, I must get out of here, the walls come close in nearer.

The world covered with dust, but I shall see where it goes. 

Climb the mountain of dirt, because above the wind blows fresher. 

Hey, everything shines, so beautifully new.

Hey!

(hey 3x)

Fehler

I don't know how the language learning process is for most people, but I thought I would share a small bit of what it is like for me. I am at the point now where I think and dream almost entirely in German. Even when my thoughts are in English they are structurally German. Writing has also been a problem. My biggest mistakes are with spelling though I also feel like even the small amount of grammar I understand, has been completely lost. I also am very happy for spell check (and you should be too).   I am at the point now that I just don't care though. So, if you read my blog and wonder why on earth I chose to put a comma there, well, now you know. I apologize for any past mistakes and those I am sure to make. My only excuse/explanation is that my brain is trying to make room for the new language so it's pushing a few things aside. I feel okay with this for now. So for fun, here are a few of my recent mistakes:

• I don't have no Geld. - We were talking about double negatives and the German word for "money" came out.
  
• In two thousandvier - Another mistake, vier=four (this mistake I made multiple times in one weekend).
  
• I feel myself sad - In German feeling is reflexive (Ich fühle mich Traurig).
  
• Staring at my paper for FIVE MINUTES and frantically looking through the dictionary because the word "dies" doesn't look at all right to me.
  
• I am constantly mixing up the words for change, grow, and wake ~ wechsel, wachsel, wachen
• The word gehört can mean either belong to or heard.  With speaking this is no problem, but when I am listening it can get a bit confusing.
• rauchen= to smoke  rauschen= to whisper .... they sound the same to me.
• Plus the numerous other German words that come out instead of English like Entschuldigung (excuse me), sofort (right away), egal (it doesn't matter to me),  or fest (firm, tight).

So there you have it.  I hope to share more about this process in the future.  I find it interesting at least.

Have you learned a foreign language?  What are your experiences?

I haven't felt like such a toddler since, well, since I was a toddler. This last week, and particularly the last three days, have been anstregend (stressfull). I have had one situation after another come up where I have said "No" to something and had the other person completely ignore it. It has never been easy for me to say no and I only started to embrace the word a few years ago. I can use it quite easily now, it doesn't pain me as it comes out. However my "no" has no stamina. It will come out once easily, twice and it begins to twitch, but if I have to repeat it more that that I tend to give up. And in the last few days I notice, I do not want to give up. I refuse to. But the fact remains that I don't know how to do that actually. So the result is a slightly more grown up version of hands on the hips, stomping feet, sour face, and a percussive, "I already said NO!" It isn't pretty. It isn't preffered. But right now, it's the only thing that feels adequate.

All I know is that I need to find a way to make it work or I will not survive here much longer.

WE: I can't stop...

Up, up and Away!, originally uploaded by Kate Pulley.

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How my heart behaves

Details and a freebie (!) after the jump.


I have been wanting to make a huge art piece to go over my bed because my room has very little personality. I have a great idea for that, though it is a project that requires much time and patience. This small little piece came out of the brainstorming and I quite like it. I am challenging myself to spend no money on any room decorating right now so I am being resourceful as possible. I made the shadow box from an old cereal box and a page from a book I found on the street. And I don't consider myself that great at drawing so I am quite proud of my anatomical heart. I can, at the very least, tell what it is. The embroidery thread I had on hand. I am going to slowly work on the other small project and hopefully have something to show for it next week.

Freebie!

I had grand intentions to create a collection of printable candy bar wrappers for a swap I was participating in a while ago. It never really panned out and I ended up with just one made, albeit too late (see above). That does mean, though, that it is now available to you, dear readers. I hope more will come in the future, but I can't promise. All you have to do is download it, print, cut, and wrap. Then give it to someone radical. :) Any feedback on this little project is highly welcome. Thumbs up, down? Suggestions? I would love to hear from you.

WE: In which way(s) are you unique?

artwork_images_230_37061_Adam-Fuss, originally uploaded by yby.

The Weekend Exposure Project is a weekly community event, sharing thoughts through imagery. Read about the Weekend Exposure Project and play along.