I Like Music

For all my griping about online networking sites I think I just found one I genuinely like. MySpace is ridiculous for its superficiality and I think I will go crazy if I get anymore pointless application requests on Facebook. Really both of those sites are used more as a directory to get in touch with people and I generally abandon all their other uses. However, one of the things I like about MySpace is finding new music because it allows me to search by genre or see artists that sound like or are influenced by those I already like. But myspace may be abandoned entirely in the near future after my discovery of iLike, an online network devoted strictly to the music you love and listen to. By installing an application on your computer it monitors the music you listen to in iTunes or Windows Media Player. It is constantly updating what you are listening to so not a lot of work has to go on on your end. However, you can also manually add artists or songs you like to your profile. And if any of your friends are in your network you can see what they love or are currently listening to. All the while a sidebar is installed on your itunes, as each new song is played the sidebar is updated with related artists, news, and free downloads. And if you don't feel like being spied on by the public at large or even friends, set your profile to private. You can still benefit from the all the other features. Pretty cool. Check out my profile.

It Begins.....

I feel at once scared and excited to start this process. I keep finding myself saying, "No, you can't get rid of that." Most often it is something that is very cute and I am unable to recall the last time I even used it. I'm funny. I continue to remind myself that they are just things and, beyond that, things that will serve me while in storage any more than glass in my foot. Things that others may have use for and can be replaced should I ever need to. I am a masterful collector of great Things. I have done it once therefore I am certain that, if necessary, I can call up the powers that be to do it again. I am committed to holding onto those things that are only truly meaningful or useful.

If you want stuff the shop is now open. Enter Here. I will be adding things throughout the next few weeks.

Matrix in Real Life

A year ago Ryan showed me a clip from a Japanese game show...Matrix Ping Pong. Their game shows are far more creative than ours and I appreciate seeing what they come up with. I wanted to see it again and came across this newer and more elaborate skit:



The Spanish used the idea in this cool commercial. Another game show antic was this ridiculously entertaining game of human tetris. Other fun and edited human games: SpaceInvaders, Pole Position, and Tetris all by Guillame Reymond.

Touch Yourself

Happy Birthday to eVette! I just got home from her celebration at the Tavernacle. A few observations...eVette is Loved, daring , creative, beautiful and fun. When I first met eVette I couldn't imagine her getting up and dancing with a group of people. However, tonight she stood on top of a piano in her sexy snug skirt and birthday boa in front of a large crowd and her parents, dancing and beaming a beautiful smile. Happy Birthday Miss eV. You radiate warmth and love and inspire me to create and love Big.

What the?!?

And really the most impressive dancing I may have ever seen. Check it out here.

Photo Project

My mom and her sisters have been going through my grandmas house and, naturally, found stacks of photos. I have volunteered to scan and organize and though I know the daunting task this will be I feel excited that I get to see them all. Because I am excited about my project I am posting this little story. And we begin...



...Mildred and Ernest Toson had three daughters.....



....Vonda, Racine, and Shirley.....



....Vonda married Lawrence Buckley also were lucky enough to get three girls.....



....Lori, Debbie, and Becky. Lori later becoming the mother of yours truly.

The End.


We now see why I am not a novelist. Or even a children's author for that matter.

B's Stuff:Opening Soon

With my move I will be needing to unload a crap load of stuff. Even living in 450 sq. feet I still manage to own too much. Over the next two months I will have most of my possessions for sale through my little online store that you may notice on the right. It will open on January 31st and I ill be continually adding items as time progresses. In the meantime I have some music and books for sale on half.com. If you are in the salt lake area and want them just email me. I will set them aside for you and save you the expense of shipping them. Anything that doesn't sell over the next two months will go to a yard sale, this just gives you first picks. All payments are processed through PayPal so a (free) account is neccessary.

I would really love to get rid of everything asap so if you know anyone who is interested please refer them herehere or have them contact me.

Thanks in advance for all your support, whether it's monetary or otherwise.

Fancy Water Day

Today I had a family outing to World Market. I had to buy my favorite bottled water. Not because I can only drink bottled water but because, on some level, I believe it's all about how you look.



Can you blame me?

Help My Cause

I am starting to sell a few of my things in preparation for the big move. I have a few books and cds listed on half.com. Check them out hereand if you are in Salt Lake and want something let me know so I don't have to ship it to you. I also have a lot of cd's not listed so if ya want some music then let me know.

...and beyond?

For those of you that read this and haven’t spoken with me I have a big announcement. Drumroll please...... with the coming of spring is the going of me. After years of trying to get the guts to move the hell out of Salt Lake for a while I am commiting not just to move but to move out the country. Germany to be specific. Having worked and lived there a few summers ago I have the best contacts and atleast a little handle on the language. It is a country I have always felt very connected with and am excited to get to know it in this way as well as reconnecting with old friends. I don’t have definitive dates of departure yet but am aiming for mid April. Thank you everyone for your support, specifically in the last two years, that has helped to evolve to a place where I had the confidence to make this move.

Thank You 2007

Now having an opportunity to sit back and look at last year I am able to fully appreciate all that I created. Initially it seemed as though there was little transformation but I soon realized that I was comparing it to the explosively transformative year of 2006. That year was loud and fun, all about my external persona. My public confidence and presence. This last year has been one of subtle and gentle shifting. Of honoring and loving my highest self while creating the kind of life and relationships I have always wanted. I have been more honest, clear, and kind with myself than ever before. Thank you to myself in 2007 for creating a beautiful and gentle flow in my life.

(re)connect

After leaving high school I more or less cut myself off from the world as I knew it. Feeling some sort of need to either find or reinvent myself I made no effort to keep in touch with those people I had connected with throughout my life. Even going so far as to making a story that I didn’t have anyone that really cared or was close to me anyhow. That story atleast made it easier to go away. I have to say that as lame as I think online networks generally are (myspace and facebook) I do appreciate them for their ability to reconnect me with those people I was so quick to cut myself off from years ago. Whether it is a casual hello exchanged or a slow reaquainting with one another I feel like I am able to appreciate all the people from my past more and feel lucky that the connection is not completely lost. As I have taken the step back from my past I have noticed the impact made and that each experience i have had has shaped me. What I once thought of as silly and superficial experiences I am now able to see as the learning opportunities they were. With the help of those rediculous networks I have found and been found by my past. Some people I am simply happy to hold at a distance, realizing that the lessons to be learned from them have been learned. Others I am finding I never truly saw or appreciated and am being given an opportunity to see them from my new perspective. Either way I now hold my past as a jewel within myself rather than an annoyance to be forgotten.



Specifically this reflection came about when I got to see a friend from years ago. Long since seen but not forgotten I am glad that I found Eve and had the chance to talk, share, and look back on our past for what it was. I value her for her creativity and sweetness and feel happy that a possible further friendship and growth will happen. To all of you in my past, I love and cherish you for all that you have been and may be in my life.

Vonda

A little late update.....two weeks after an admission the the ER for a fall my grandmother passed away from very advanced cancer. Having a presence in her lungs, hips, spine, and femur bone there was little to be done aside from pain control. It was shocking to learn how advanced the cancer was, knowing that it had been in her and spreading for years without anyones knowledge. I am glad that she went in peace and, despite the little time afforded her to prepare herself, she was ready to go.




The funeral was bittersweet. The opportunity to see family that I know little about as well as to feel close, supportive, and supported of my mom and siblings was lovely. Visiting Helper again and seeing it for the imperfect gem it is. Reminiscing and creating new memories.

I haven't had to deal with death close to me in my adult life. I was surprised to see what came up for me. Certainly sadness, but it was quite and painless. Tears came not when I thought that my grandma, as I have always known her, was gone, but when I looked around the room and saw the struggle in peoples faces to come to terms with the situation. To see my mom with her sisters or my grandma's only surviving sister torn up. I felt peace in my ability to be in that space. I felt peace at the viewing when I saw my grandma and knew that she was in fact not dead at all.



For those of you fellow Harry Potter fans you will understand what I saw and felt. While Voldemort seeked to make himself immortal through horxcruxes, splitting himself through hate and murder he missed the greatest road to immortality. Looking at my grandmother and the filled room of the funeral I saw her in all those around her. Through love and sharing who she was she was unable to die. Her spontaneous creativity, silliness, and kindness are alive in me. I learned a lot from her and as long as I remember that she is here. There is no pain in that thought.

booth

Happy Birthday!

To a boy who is, by far, one of the best buddies. Thank you for all that you have taught me in these two years of your existence. Watching you grow and evolve inspires me to growth equally as great and impressive. You will always be in my heart sweet Gabe.