One piece joy, one piece crazy

First comes a warning.  A warning that although this is in fact a real update, it does not mean I can get back to regular posting or emailing.  I really don't wish to bore or confuse you with the details, but let's just say that I never thought it would be more difficult to get a new phone and internet service than to legally emigrate to a new country.

First of all....we won, we won!  It was a strange and exciting experience to be abroad during the election, and most specifically during THIS election.  In a way the process felt a bit more relaxed as it wasn't in my face each day.  It is quite easy to check out of the news when it is not in your language.  However, the last few weeks leading up to it, it seemed as though it was all anyone would like to discuss with me.  And, me being the only American acquaintance, I became their personal election expert.  There were many times when I just wanted it to be over so I wouldn't get a grilling each time I came into a room.  I even had a story written about me in the local newspaper.  With a giant photo.  That's right.  It was a fluff piece, and I was rather amused at being asked.  I really laughed when the suggestion for the interview location was Starbucks.  Interested in seeing the article?  My roommate scanned it for me so if you wish just click here and it should open up for you.  Hehe.

Election night I had the intention of staying up to hear the result but only made it until 3/3:30 a.m. before crashing.  When looking at BBC's result before dashing off to class I was shot with adrenaline and excitement despite the lack of sleep, and later that night when watching Obama's acceptance speech I cried tears of joy.  I am thankful to Obama for the campaign he ran and that he was able to reflect back to the American people their own strengths.  I am grateful to the American people for standing up and believing in themselves.  

The same tears of joy came again three days later when I saw the thousands of people in Salt Lake protesting the passing of Prop 8.  Salt Lake.  As in Utah.  Protesting a gay marriage ban.  Does it get more beautiful?  I am skeptical and hopeful about how long people can sustain their new found hope and their re-found voices.  

And enough about the election already, right?  More is happening in the world than that....

Aside from the pre- and post-election madness I have created a bit of drama in my life.  I have stated often that this move has been more difficult than I ever imagined it being, to the extend of sometimes asking myself why I came in the first place.  But there is a problem with imagining things and the reality of things and that is where the drama enters the picture.  I don't wish to get into knitty gritty details, but I can and will say this about it.  Germany always stood out for me as this thing I would do one day when I was finally ready and strong enough to take the independent leap.  It was the one big thing that was MINE that I would accomplish.  And I have kept that story with me and it has bumped up against the fact that I didn't come alone but with Ryan.  And if you don't know me then let me just tell you that I am stubborn.  Like, really stubborn, control freak crazy.  Sometimes.  I have put Ryan through the ringer with some of my little games.  He is such a sport.  Really, I am not sure where he comes from but he can deal with me.  Today, in response to my question, "Why do you even want to be with me?" he kindly directed me here to explain it all.  What I really love is that despite anything that comes up I am always able to work with him through whatever is happening with a spirit of fun and laughter.  

I am challenged here and sometimes entertain the thought of running home and just escaping all that is difficult.  I know, though, that if I rise to the occasion this will be the biggest and best learning experience of my life to date.  And I believe my story of this being my independent move is true.  But not in the fact that I have to do it alone.  But in the fact that is was only when I could do it alone, when I didn't need anything or anyone, was I able to do this for myself.   I appreciate that I have removed myself so far from my comfort zone that I really have no choice but to grow or perish.

So that is where I am at.  Today, I am committed to learning more about myself and finding balance in this seemingly chaotic place for me.

I don't know if I will have internet or not for the next week.  My hope is yes.

Winter has arrived, I commuted home today on an icy path, a first for me on my bike.  The leaves have all fallen and the cobblestone street was dusted with snow this morning.  The Christmas Markets have officially opened today and if this cold persists tomorrow I will invite myself to my first experience of Glühwein and Lebkuchen in the Old City.

I miss home, all my friends and family.  As Thanksgiving approaches I hold each of you close in my heart.  I intend to celebrate in my own special way.  Know that I love and appreciate each of you in my life.  Thank you for stopping by my blog and sending the occasional emails, it is wonderful to know you are all there.

Til.....uh...later.