Will someone PLEASE draw a line already?

I like beer. Do you like beer? I am a huge fan. It was the Bayou, in Salt Lake, that converted me. With over 200 choices from around the world, each visit was a beer tasting. Comparing beers from one region/country, or comparing different lagers, pilsners, or stouts from everywhere. So I was of course stoked at the thought of moving to Germany. You know, the land in which the beer floweth over?

I was both right and wrong to get excited about that one. Beer is much more available here that Utah, though that's not so difficult. And it is much cheaper. But these insane Germans... can they not leave well enough alone? I present to you, the German answer to the girly drink. We have wine coolers in the states. The Germans have.....
Beer and Lemon. Very similar and offered in bars... Radler. Beer and Sprite. I wish these were jokes. And theres more....

Beer and Grenadine. No. No. Exotic Grenadine.

A specialty of Berlin... wießbier with flavored syrups. Pictured here are raspberry and waldmeister.

I am sorry. You can read that one. I can't bring myself to repeat it.

And for those of you that can handle tequila on it's own without hurling, there's this lovely combination so you don't feel left out from the rest of us worshiping the porcelain throne.